Self Love
By Tara Hoskin
Photography by Eve Tiernan
In 2015, New York-based artist Caroline Caldwell painted her quote on a train poster; ‘In a society that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.’ The picture she took of her art subsequently went viral and graced Instagram stories and Tumblr blogs alike across the world. Six years on, the truth in her words still ring true, but how does one begin liking themselves to rebel? How do we forget the ad campaigns focused on beach bodies and the constant onslaught of ‘before and after’ pictures? As a twenty-year-old woman, I certainly do not have all of these answers, but I have put together some tips that have helped me learn to love myself in a capitalist world hellbent on convincing me not to.
Examine
Many of us have things that we do not like about ourselves that we seldom question the root of. As we repeat these insecurities to ourselves, again and again, they become strongly held beliefs perhaps with little basis. Lots of beliefs about beauty rely on Eurocentric ideals along with racism and sexism. There are whole industries based on selling products to people who believe that they are ugly. The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf is a really good read that further examines how the beauty industry has exemplified oppression. The things we think about ourselves do not exist in a void and are often a reflection of the society that we grew up in. Understanding this will not simply magic away any insecurities we have about ourselves, but it is a step-in questioning why we feel the way we do and realizing that self-love can be a radical act.
Discover
If you have spent many years staring in a mirror focusing on your imperfections, it feels almost impossible to simply decide to start loving yourself. However, you can take baby steps. Every time you look in the mirror, make a conscious effort to pick one positive thing. Self-love does not only relate to your physical appearance. Discover things that make you feel good about yourself. Perhaps it is making a meal for people you love or exercising in your favourite place. When you begin to treat yourself as you would someone you love, these feelings are then reflected onto yourself.
Make a Routine
Making a conscious effort to wake up every morning and love yourself takes time and hard work. Life can be extremely stressful, and it is foolish to believe we will always wake up in a positive headspace. By making self-love part of a daily routine, it can become easier to practice on hard days. This could simply mean saying one nice thing to yourself every morning or just setting aside some time within the day to do something that makes you feel good about yourself. However unnatural this may feel at first, in time it will become a habit.
Be Patient
Like loving anyone, self-love is a journey that takes time and patience. Everyone has days that are harder to love themselves than others. Try not to overly berate yourself for this. We have been conditioned to constantly search for imperfections. It will take time to unlearn these habits and replace them with new ones.
Social Media
If you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to social media accounts of people’s perfected lives, here are some Instagram accounts that may help you feel some self-love instead:
@ferncooke @recipesforselflove @charliemackesy @cheeky_palm and Caroline Caldwell’s Instagram is @dirtworship
