blue smarties
By Liz Hunt
Encompassing my whereabouts to the beat of the carnival. A broken-down gazebo to guide me home. My engulfed quarters savouring my last breakfast bar and perished passport. I gravitated towards the warmth of the baltic burrows. A mirage that housed my being for a few hours, I sat in solitude to witness the water seep from under me. I wiped the dancefloor dust off my face.
Soon accompanied by a fellow wanderer, we exchanged dreams and glowed with every ambition. Even though the only thing we had in common was the warmth of this fire, I pocketed a remarkableness for life in their presence. I don’t know if it ever crossed their mind again but their mistiness still lingered days after the festival.
Rain fell long after the early morning, the campsite spirit occasionally with it. Sunken attires and shivering souls the campers braved the next day. A glimmer of hope as a ray of sunshine shone through the clouds. A standing ovation for the sun, the cheer fluttered through the fields: faith was restored. I thought about a poet plulooted in between blades of grass, whipping out their quill to write a sonnet about this very moment. My cheeks ached from smiling from mere hysteria. It occurred to me why I savoured every soakage. This is what my ADHD sometimes feels like - chaos and extremity. Both euphoric and catastrophic.
I have always struggled with a scattered sense of the world. Traces can be found in any corner of my life. Unlock my bedroom to tangled fragments: unfinished scrapbooks, six-month-old Strepsils and shattered CDs. I was always curious as to why my life felt perpendicular, why I never felt like a real functioning person. The night I received my diagnosis of ADHD and Dyslexia at the age of twenty-two. While it solidified by scattered senses, tears were shed for my younger self. My understanding of ADHD was always a depiction of a hyper schoolboy inhaling a cart of blue smarties and gluing themselves a wall. While everyone's experiences/difficulties are unique to them, I am going to sporadically speak each month about my set of realities and break some blue smarties misconceptions.
Misplaced
passport ( fell out of my bag)
bff friendship bracelet to the sea
A mobile device in a haystack
Purse in terry land forest park
Easels of inspiration
Mini wardrobe Lady bug print
A Gallon of water bottles
Coffee cups
Faith in banks
wads of pences countless umbrellas
Almond milk on trains full length mirror
ADHD paperwork
Peach shaped pillow 1D mug ( was found a year later)
?? Vaselines
tangled earphones on a mountain
A mushroom earring on the dance floor
retainers in a field
iPad ( left on a boat was found)
