26 going on 16
By Kerry Graham
Illustration by Daisy Allen
It's happening.
Oh dear God, it’s finally happening.
I may be Gen Z, but that doesn’t mean shit anymore.
I am… old.
Horrifyingly, the new internet It girls I spend hours on Depop trying to emulate are younger than me now, and demonstrably so. Barely out of their mother's wombs when I was doing my 1st Holy Communion, these tiny baby children with narrow hips and tiny wrists, who probably don't even remember 9/11, are my newfound aesthetic goals. (Spoiler alert, I barely remember 9/11).
At my day job, I deal with teenagers all day long. The first time I realised that someone born in 2005 could be a legal adult, I nearly fainted. Having spent the better part of my early twenties in pandemic-land, I often flip from wanting an absolutely UNHINGED redo of my teenage years to reminding myself that I was in an unmedicated, closeted, hungry stupor for the vast majority of it.
Oh, it was all very edgy and I said as much to the eighteen year old who told me at work she wished she had been a teenager in 2014, and was visibly envious when I mentioned that I was in fact a true #TumblrGirl. She’s jealous of my bygone years, while I’m lowkey wishing for a second chance at her current reality.
However, I am slowly realising that having a fully developed frontal lobe and being able to think past next week is kind of great, actually? Even if it's painfully uncool that my favourite weekend blowout is an early-morning trip to the farmer’s market (I am NOT a millennial).
In my mind, she’s cooler than me, simply because she’s younger - even if I’m the one with tattoos. It’s trippy that 2014 is being touted by today’s internet princesses as the ultimate era to have been a teenager, because when I was sixteen I was sick of indie sleaze, and wished it was 2005.
It’s complicated and maybe I was undeniably much cooler at sixteen, with a skateboard and plaid miniskirt and a backpack full of art supplies, or maybe we all long for the innocence of first kisses and flip phones and not paying rent yet. Are teenagers cooler because they’re younger and our society values youth, or are they cooler because they care less about being cool? Did I care less back then too?
I just can’t tell if it’s the rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia, or if Black Milk galaxy print leggings are actually due a comeback (please God, don’t let it be the latter).
I think a lot of people in their twenties try to emulate teenage vibes via current fashion trends while secretly hoping to gain access to the unspoken coolness that they emulate. This screenshot from BYRDIE proves that the niche aesthetic classifications of today are everywhere, and they are here to stay. Championed by teenage girls on TikTok, no longer are you merely a person in a leather jacket, white tee and mom jeans - you’re giving 90s actress, young Winona Ryder-core.
Microtrends and aesthetics and boxes like this have always existed. The girlies were always making mood boards - TikTok and Pinterest just make it WAY easier to share them. However, these sub-subcultures via fashion are not new. The soft grunge girls, midwestern emos, and glitter goths of days gone by are rolling in their - well, not graves - seeing as all of those people are likely still alive and well.
In 2014 I was printing out photos and wasting my dad’s printer ink to plaster my bedroom walls in photos to represent the person I wanted to be. Now, teens just make fancams and slideshows to showcase their dream whimsigoth living room - and I kind of love it.
As I researched for this article, I came to realise that what I am trying to emulate could actually just be MYSELF as a child, or at least the era that I was one in. I was doing the ribbons in braided hair, handkerchief hemlines, y2k realness - at the time! Just last week I bought a top from Urban Outfitters, for an embarrassing amount of money, that wouldn’t look out of place in my 2005 wardrobe. I guess the kids today are romanticising my teenage years just as I romanticise my childhood. (Wow, I'm SO not like other girls).
Maybe I was the blueprint? Or at least, I’m right on time in regards to the ever-present capitalist tradition of cycling through the eras via fashion. In the 2010s, the 80s and 90s were having a moment. Now it seems the 2000s and 2010s are having the moment. My current obsession is a sort of cool American babysitter, early 2000s older cousin vibe. Think crew neck sweaters, flared leggings and a messy bun. In 2005 I dreamt of being my badass older cousin with her lower back tattoo (I think she got it removed).
Maybe I’m not as on-trend as the current It girls, but something I do love is the fact that people can kind of dress in any era now. One day I’m 2012 twee in Mary Janes and patterned tights, the next I'm 1980s Stevie Nicks, wrapped in black chiffon. I might not be the fashion icon I want to be to a 2023 sixteen year old, but if I can be someone MY sixteen year old self would have thought was cool, I think I’m doing something right. I think the era you truly grow up in will always have a place in your heart.
Therefore, as unfortunate as it may be sartorially - peplum tops, owl necklaces and all - the 2010s will continue to have a hold on me (but seriously, enough with the galaxy print).
Until next time,
Yours,
Kerry
